What to write: Hard times

Life isn’t always butterflies and rainbows.

Sometimes, it has overcast skies and tears our dreams in two. Thank goodness our friends and family are there for us through all the heartbreaks, setbacks, and upheavals.

While you may feel shy about reaching out during troubled times, it’s always the right thing to do. If you’re feeling extremely unsure of what action to take, there’s beauty in sending a card or note letting those in need know you’re thinking of them and there for them while still respecting their privacy and space.

Even the toughest need compassion when times are tough. When it seems like a loved one, friend, or anyone who plays a role in your life may be going through something challenging, it’s important to show up for them.

Taking a moment to write a heartfelt note can make a world of difference, even if you don’t know exactly what you should say.

What to write

Here are the right words to use solo or as a starter when you reach out.

  • I am/We are thinking of you.
  • I’m so very sorry.
  • I am here if you want to talk about it. Or if you need someone to just listen.
  • You can count on me.
  • I love you.
  • I can’t imagine what you’re going through…


When someone is having a difficult time, it’s human nature to assume they have a lot going on and shouldn’t be bothered.

Instead of pulling back, lean in harder. It’s easy to shy away from painful subjects or uncomfortable conversations. However, when you send a card, you’re letting someone know that you are there for them. And that you’re available to talk about the tough stuff—whenever they’re ready.


  • You’ve been on my mind.
  • I would love to talk/come by whenever feels best for you.
  • I’m sending love.

Illness or injury

A major injury or life-threatening diagnosis isn’t something anyone should face alone. Be there for your friend or loved one the same way you’d like them to be there for you. 

A card, thoughtful gift, or supportive act is always appropriate. The months—or even the years—following can be difficult and leave one feeling isolated. Staying in touch can serve as a shining light in even the darkest times.


  • I am here to help in any way I can.
  • You can always count on me, whatever you need.
  • I know your situation is unpredictable, but my love is not.


When someone you care about loses a loved one, finding the right words to say can feel impossible. Don’t let this stop you from showing up for them.

If you didn’t know the deceased, focus on your friend or what you know about your friend’s relationship with their loved one.

Remember, grief is complex. Everyone deals with it in their own way. Avoid labeling their feelings for them. Instead, sincerely acknowledge their loss and offer your condolences.


  • I am sorry for your loss.
  • I will always remember…
  • You are always in my thoughts.
  • I know this is painful and I’m here for you.

Need stationery to help you show them extra love? Tap here.

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