What to write: Separations and divorces

Regardless of what we see on the Hallmark Channel, love isn’t always patient and kind.

Even under the best circumstances, separations and divorces are difficult. Though some couples may choose to see eye-to-eye on the decision to uncouple, others may fight every step of the way.

When writing your note to someone experiencing a separation or divorce, be clear, be concise, and offer your presence or support without inserting yourself into their private matters.

Remember, the realities of splitting up involve a dismantling of a shared life, sorting through a myriad of emotions, and reimagining a future that looks different than they’d planned.

Handle with care.

What to write

Here are the right words to use solo or as a starter when you reach out.

  • I’m here for you no matter what.
  • Tell me how I can help.
  • Sometimes good choices are the hardest ones to make. 

When it’s messy

A thorny divorce is the worst kind.

No matter how tempting it may be to fire off all the reasons you never liked the ex, channel that energy instead to words that lift your friend’s spirits, confidence, and hope.


  • I wanted to call but wasn’t sure what to say.
  • I’m sorry you’re going through such a tricky time.
  • No matter what, know you are loved by many. Especially me.

When it’s amicable

Even if it appears like things are for the best, it doesn’t mean they are any easier on those involved.

Sending a note of love and support even when things look perfect from the outside is a great way to let someone know you care. And that you’re there for them in good times and bad. Your sentiments may just be exactly what they need.


  • You are the perfect combination of grace and grit.
  • If you ever want to talk, I’m here for you.
  • Is now a good time for a glass of wine?

When it’s freeing

The decision to move on from a romantic entanglement is never easy, but there are certain circumstances where it can leave your friend feeling liberated.

When that happens, a congratulatory note is in order. Now is the perfect time to salute their courage and bravery and let them know that you’re always in their corner.


  • Your positive perspective is inspiring.
  • I can’t wait to see all the good the universe has in store for you.
  • I’m cheering for you!

Need stationery to help you show you care or bring a smile to their face? Tap here.

1 comment

  • Kim Adkins

    Thanks, l always want to help not hurt friends, family going through a divorce. Try to be available, love them, no judgement because only two in marriage really know what’s going on when separation, divorce, come part of their reality.

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